I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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