so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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