The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize