He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
