i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize