Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
