Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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