I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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