Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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