trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
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