How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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