Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
