Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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