if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
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Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
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I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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