I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
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I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
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So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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