i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
