I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
smell my finger.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
