my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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