Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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