Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
