I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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