That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
