did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
