I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
