is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize