i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
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We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
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The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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