so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Pants are for mortals
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize