Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize