after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
