Dual....:-)
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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