we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
