Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
