How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I need to sanitize my soul.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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