So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
