Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
