oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize