he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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