You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
We got so high we made milksteak
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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