they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
