everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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