I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
