i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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