he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
