i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize