Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
