Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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