Don't make out with my wife yet
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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