escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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