dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
