I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
i've created a new STD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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