It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
