I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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