hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
