Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
i now understand why vodka
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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