Can i not drive my cunt home
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
